EXHAUSTION

I'm exhausted..

Too exhausted to tink straight..

I can't talk, I can't walk, I can't sleep..

I son't understand how people may actually do ER BY CHOICE!

One day your shift starts at 08:00, the other it starts at 16:00, the next it starts at 00:00!! I call it social suicide.. I haven't seen my mom for a week, let alone my friends..

That is, until last Thursday.. I was asleep, and my phone started ringing uncontrollably.. It's like it got a seziure or something..
I kept on silenscing it, not having enough energy to turn it off.. 15 calls later I HAD to answer..
It was Oli, saying that Sara, Rash and herself were in Zee Noodle,and they wanted me to join'em.. I gave her my usual line in my usual sleepy voice:
"yeah ok, I'll try, really, I'll do my best, I have to take a shower and get dressed, it'll take some time.." to which she knows the translation: "I"M NOT COMING"..

She hang up.. 10 minutes later the same calling frenzy reoccured.. I HAD to answer once again..
It was Sara.. "Hey G, umm, we're by your door, can you buzz us in?!"

"WTF? loooooooool, yeah sure.."

You know when you stand up from bed too quickly you get a head rush? I was dressing up on the go, jumping on one leg to pull up the bermuda.. I buzzed them in, 20 seconds later they were at my door, smiling ridiculously.. And that's when I knew, tonight was going to be exotically exhausting..

Rash was holding her Karaoke apparatus, and I live in a small apartment, and I have neighboors, that until last Thursday never knew I existed lol..

We hooked it, and, ofcourse, Sara was set on auto-log on..

By midnight.. Oli had to leave, it was late, she never stayed past 11, 11:30 max.. so 12 in my home was an honor! lol

They left, and I was getting ready to go back to sleep in the same outfit, and then, not surprisingly, my phone started convulsing again..

It was Oli "Hey G, we're downstairs, waiting for you.."
"HUH? why? did you forget something?"
Oli:"lol, no, we're gonna watch a movie at my house, join us.."
"crap, ok.."

I was literally incapable of saying no that night..

I put on my Abaya, grabbed my keys, cigs, and down I went.. Not until I reached Oli's house did I realise I wasn't wearing a scarf LOL

We watched "The Prestige", which I saw in Italy in Jannuary.. and about 3 or 4 times since then.. I can't get enough of it.. so many twist, my kind of movie..

By 3:00 am.. I suggested we go to the beach.. loool I was kidding, but I saw some consideration in their eyes.. If I insisted a little bit more I swear we ould've done it..

The problem is, I had a day shift on Friday, that starts at 8.. I was going to either die or kill a patient if I didn't sleep the rest of the night..

I didn't sleep.. I didn't die, and thank god, I didn't kill a patient..

Beauty.. or is it?

I loved the new Dove commercial, where they ask why our perception of beauty has become so disfigured!

I hate make up and cosmetic surgeries..

People are no longer unique in anyway.. I started to really admire girls and women walking around with a light touch of lipgloss without the layers of founation and bronzers.. European women are attractive for a reason!

I admit it, I was a makeup junkie, I was overweight and I thought with painting my face I would divert the looks from my body.. And now I see how self-concious and depressed I was..
I used to wear makeup to the gym for god's sake!

Thank god, I got cured of my addiction after I lost the weight.. I look at my old pictures and think I wasn't fooling anybody.. If you're self-concious about something, that's the thing everybody notices.. Like when you try to cover a zit with layers of concealer and foundation, and end up calling attention to it..

I wish I could start seminars to talk to young girls about this subject..

Make up doesn't make you pretty, it makes you look unnatural, and sometimes totally disfigured! ESPECIALLY if you add colored lenses to the equation!
God gave dark skinned girls dark colored eyes for a reason!

And makeup is a vicious cycle, if you get used to how you look like with eye liners, mascara and blush, you would cry everytime you look at the mirror in the morning..

Oh, and don't get me started on the highlights! It's like an epidemic.. I'm not saying it's ugly on everybody, but it IS ugly on some people! The rule is:
If it suits your best friend, it doesn't necessarily suit you! live with it!

I was reading the post on the Solar Alchemist blog, and I got so moved and I hadto say what I think in detail..

It's been a whiiiile..

I've been away for a while, and everytime I try o get back on track I think I missed ALOT.. So I end up procrastinating..

Today, I thought I'll drop anything, even if a couple of unrelated sentences, just to push me back on track..

So what interesting news have occured these past 2 months?

1. I finished my surgery rotation..
I love surgery.. LOVE IT.. I hate the paper work, but once I'm in an OR, I feel like the queen of the world! The rotation was through Febrary,March, and April.. The first month was crappy in KFSH.. 2nd & 3rd was in the university hospital, I took every on call with Oli and sara.. It was the best 2 months in my whole internship! I did plastic surgery, and cardiac surgery.. (yes, heart surgery..)
Needless to say, by the end of those 3 months, I literally crawled back home to sleep..

2. On Mai first, the university threw us a graduation party.. it was huge, and I was chosen to be the velleydictorian.. Yup, I stood up and said the goodbuy words infront of thousands of women.. It was mazing, I thought at first I might collapse, but then it went so smooth and I became famous lol..
My mom got me 2 gifts, I was so touched, she said one is from her, and the other is what my dad would've given me had h been alive.. I almost cried.. She got me a beautiful diamond ring.. and the other gift was diamond studded rosary.. It belonged to my dad, amd just the idea was mind-blowing.. I was so happy and definitely in tears..

3. With the beginning of Mai, my ER rotation began too.. the system in ER is as follows:
You mustattend 15 shifts in a month..
You must have 5 of each, day shifts, evening shifts, and night shifts.. Days being from 8 to 4 pm, evenings from 4 to 12 am, and nights from 12 to 8 am..

My brave husband, suggested that if we took consecutive shifts, we could finish our total requirements earlier, so we took a double shift from 12 am yesterday, til 4 pm this evening.. I WAS WALKING HOME DEAD.. ZOMBIE.. I hit the bed, and I went into a deep coma..

I think that's enough for a catch up.. I really forgot how this works lol.. I had to change almost everything to exite myself a little.. guess it worked.. Thx ahmed for the inspiration ;)