Merry Christmas Everybody, and a Happy New Year!

Ho Ho Ho!

Xmas to me is also known as my brother's birthday.. It was quite messy finding the perfect gift, especially that he's turning 21, so signed footballs don't work no more lol

After some research, I found that my brother's favorite gadget is his laptop, so I got him a black DKNY bag for it.. hope he likes it he's really picky *fingers crossed*

Didn't have time to wrap it, as I'm packing!

Yep, that's right, it's vacation time! no more vaginas and no more babies *phew*..
(is it weird that I'm hoping some women goes into labor tonight during my flight?)

I'm goin to Tunisia, it's 16 degrees at best this time of the year, and I LOVE winter clothing, it's just so elegant and classy.. All those stockings, short leather skirts, boots, I just wanna take a whole wardrobe with me!

From there, after celebrating new year's eve, my hubby and I are taking a quick jump to Rome, to celebrate our 1 year anniversary :) I'm thrilled, I love Rome.. I have alot of memories there, to mention one, I bought my wedding dress from there this time last year!

So if anybody wants some extra virgin olive oil or some Juve stuff drop me a few lines :P

And if you really really miss me, you don't have to hide it, just say it out loud *actually type it out loud lol* I'm gonna be takin my laptop with me, and i'm gonna try to blog often..


Arrivederci!

It's ALIVE!

Thanks everybody for resurrecting my blog :) Glad to see you all bouncing back and not giving up on me ;)

Today was interestingly sad.. It's sad that for us -interns- to learn, someone else must be sick, in agony, or in some cases, dying..
It's common to see an intern -especially surgically oriented ones- jumping up and down cuz they have to scrub in on an operation.. I might advocate the fact that I'm happy cuz I'm gonna be helping a patient get better.. but somewhere intraoperatively, you get carried away and actually enjoy the procedure, and wish you could perform more of it.. I was in surgery today, obviously!

I'm on call tomorrow in the ER.. Do you know what being a Gyne houseofficer on call in the ER is? Duty from 8 am to 8 am? Women giving birth with every breath you take?

Wome are of two types really, either too early, or too late.. They're either rushed into the ER with half the baby already singing Jingle Bells, and you only have to cut the cord, OR, they come and moan in agony for 48 hours till the start to actually get in labor!

But enough about Obstetrics and Gynecology.. Here comes the ood part :)

Since we graduated last June and haven't done anything about it yet, the girls and I decided we should celebrate our own way.. no fancy dresses, no large ballrooms.. We rented a villa in "Durrat Al Arous" for the weekend.. no body but us and probably a couple of Jet-skis.. It's gonna be a blast! Bar.B.Q, caraoke, marshmellows, tanning, it's what we really need after 6 months of hardwork :)

I would ask you to join, but sorry.. you must go through the hardwork too :P

Glad to be Back!

Oh boy do I miss this little editing box! lol

I was trying to log in expecting to find the usual failure message, but it worked! *does the chandler dance* So bear with me as I don't have anything ready, I'm just mumbling some of the stuff I faced in the last 20 days.. So here we go..

There were alot of deliveries!
I was assigned to the labor room these past 2 weeks, I gotta say I liked it! I wouldn't wanna do it for a living, but the knowledge is empirical! what self-respecting doctor doesn't know how to deliver a baby?

We -interns- do it either supervised by senior obstetricians or midwives..
The normal uncomplicated delivery sounds easy when u think about it, but sometimes you get some kind of 'shock'.. I have to admit, it's a miracle! I mean one minute that baby is inside that distended belly, and the other he's in a bassinet wrapped in a warm cloth..
And don't you just love quiet babies staring into the blues? tryin to absorb all the light? trying to comprehend the sudden change of environment?

What an experience..

Another funny thing, those pregnant women -at the moment of labor- are just so mean and RUDE.. At first I thought it was a personality issue, but then when they deliver and see their babies, they transform into another creature, suddenly so tender and so thankful.. You would swear they took the first woman and replaced her with an identical twin!

What an experience..

Then comes the Caesarian sections; the thing that strikes you the most honestly is that with modern medicine, you can deliver surgically while the lady is awake and having an interesting debate with the anesthesiologist.. Honestly? you have to stop for a second and praise modern medicine! I mean surgeons are down there, cutting, nipping, pulling, pushing, and even suturing, while the mother is discussing the list of potential names she's chosen..

What an experience..

One more "labor room" incident.. After delivering a beautiful baby girl, we looked at the mother and congratulated her for delivering such a cute baby girl.. The mother the suddenly screams: A GIRL??!!! and bursts into ears, and starts weeping real loud.. I was really sad, you wouldn't expect to see that in the 21st century! she wouldn't even look at her own baby! It's a hazard to send them home together! That was really really sad..

Adulthood? Not so fun..

I remember when I was younger, I used to look forward to hitting 18..
They made it sound so glamorous, like a new restaurant opening in town, where u can only get in with an invitation, or if you knew someone high enough on the social ladder.. connections..

And then the clock ticked 12, it's July 13th, 2001.. And there I was, blowing 18 candles celebrating adulthood. But then I didn't notice any change or any "fun" in my new club.. I thought they raised the threshold to 21.. I had to wait for 3 more years to join the mysterious, highly guarded club.. I waited 18 I might as well wait for 3 more.. And again, on July 13th, 2004.. I was again blowing candles absent-mindedly.. I'm ready, it's time.. I wanna get dressed and run to the gates.. I don't need connections now, I have an invitation!!

Well, what a disappointment!
The club may look glamourous and mystical on the outside with all the smoke-making machines and lazer lights.. But once you make it inside you're forced to follow some certain rules:

1. You're not allowed to leave the "adulthood" club ever again.. Unless ofcourse you die, or get Alzheimer's disease.

2. If you're seen at another club, you're stamped for life as "immature".

3. You can only socialize with people in the club.. Socializing with others will also condemn you to immaturity..

I never saw those rules when I applied for a membership! I was promised alot of fun, but no one spoke to me about responsibility!

Trust me people, unless you're in it for the alcohol, there's nothing special about this boring, mind-numbing, body-ruining club!

I wanna go back to 18, or better yet 17.. when no one could call you adult.. when you're not supposed to do stuff, when you don't have to kill yourself at work to "live" -ironically-..
I wanna go back to my life with regular pepsi, and full fat milk..
I wanna go back to school..
I wanna go back to my dolls and teddy bears..
I wanna go back to watching Bugs Bunny & Pink Panther..
I wanna go back to sleeping with mom in her bed..
I wanna go back to spending all my money and not making any..
I wanna go back to being irresponsible..

I miss the time when my biggest problem was being forced to eat the vegetables on my plate.
I miss the time when I slept 8 hours every night..

I hate this club! I want out.. I want a sick leave, or better yet; a permanent disability leave.. I'm not fit to be an adult.. It's a privilage I don't want!

Bring'em On..

There was a time, I don't know when..
I didn't have, much time for men!
But this is now, and that was then.. I'm learning..

A girl alone,
All on her own,
Must try to have, a heart of stone..
So I try not, to make it known my yearning..

I try to show, I have no need..
I really do, I don't succeed..

So let's bring on the men,
and let the fun begin..
A little touch of sin,
why wait another minute?
Step this way,
it's time for us to play..
They say we may not pass this way again,
so let's waste no more time..
Bring on the men..

I always knew, I always said..
That silk and lace, in black and red..
Will drive a man right off his head..
It's easy..
So many men, so little time..
I want them all, is that a crime?
I don't know why they say that I'm too easy..

They make me laugh,
They make me cry..
They make me sick,
So god knows why!

They break your heart..
they steal your soul..
Take you apart,
and yet they somehow make you whole..
So what's their game?
I suppose a rose by any other name,
a perfume and the prick's the same..

I like to have a man for breakfast each day..
I'm very social and I like it that way..
By late mid-morning I need something to munch..
So I ask over two men for lunch..

And men are mad about my afternoon "tease"..
They're quite informal I just do them to please..
Those tripple sandwiches are my favorite ones..
I am also very partial to buns..

My healthy appetite gets strongest at night..
My at-home dinners are my men-friends delight..
When I invite the fellows over to dine..
They all come early.. in bed by nine!


Unfortunately I didn't write this.. it's a beautiful song.. But if I were to write a song, it would be something like this :P I love the words, the music, Linda's voice, everything about this song!

Warning: Just For Dummies!!

Tagged by Solar Alchemist:


I loved this Tag, u can get reaaaal creative, I had to delete a couple of inappropriate editions :P
Let me see, I tag:
Ache, OT, Lamya, & DiDi..


So, Publish ur own edition ;)

Aya II

Prequels: Chapter I

Just another Monday morning for Maria. Or so she thought.

It was already seven o'clock. In the dorm, where she lived, it was impossible for a living creature to remain in bed after seven. Was it the noise or the smell of freshly brewed coffee? She never knew..

She would wake up, finish her morning routine long before Isabella, her room-slash-soul-mate, would even begin to notice it was morning. For Isabella was the total opposite of Maria.

She was a tall, olive skinned, heavy woman. She wasn't beautiful but she was very charming. She was the kind that you have to talk to her to like her, except that when you do talk to her, you end up loving her. A very funny, down to earth pleasant woman. Was never into make up, hair-dos, jewelery, or even fancy shoes. She was into family, friendships, and lots and lots of laughter.

She was the perfect friend and family for Maria, although they were never related. They just met a year ago when they were interviewed for the job at Cartier's. The funny thing is, they both thought they would never meet again. They were very different that it was impossible for one employer to hire both. What they did not notice is how they completed each other, but ofcourse an experienced boss would never miss that.

Their journey began when they started looking for a place to live. If there was one thing in common between them, it was that they didn't have any money. Living in the college dorms was, no doubt, Isabella's idea. After all they were 18, and no one would mistake them for anything but students.

The "students in disguise" theme worked pretty well for Isabella, but it was constant torture for Maria. Not an honesty issue, it was envy.

Yes, she silently envied her peers. She denied but couldn't help it. She tried convincing herself that she is working by choice. She would succeed but just until the next morning when she has to pass through the gates with all the proud ambitious young women. Every passing day, their ambition grows, and her envy does too. But she never mentioned this to sweet Bella. She wouldn't want to drag a happy woman into her degrading self-pity. It was unfair.

It was just another Monday morning. She'll get through it. She always did.

She wore black stockings, dressed up in a knee-length black dress, perfectly fitting around her tiny waist, matching elegant black heels, pulled her hair back into a ponytail and started applying light touches of makeup. Isabella was almost ready, after living with Maria for a year, she learned a thing or two about getting dressed for work..

Maria: No no no, no pants for you sweetheart! One must learn how to flatter their figure. Now you carry most of your weight on your upper body, but you have beautiful slim legs!
Isabella blushed, she only heard the compliment. The glass was always half full.
She quickly changed into a short tight skirt, and now they were both ready to go. They grabbed their coats, their sunglasses, their coffee, and off to work.

It was a monotonous morning, contrary to what Maria expected. It was February 11th, for god's sake, where are all the lovers? No fancy valentine's gifts this year?
But just as she was realigning the limited edition of pink-gold rings they received for the occasion, an overly excited Isabella runs to her and whispers:
A handsome man just stepped into the store, he's out of my league, but he's all yours!
Maria confused -yet hopeful- walks to the main desk and there he was!
She was thinking:
He's not handsome.. I mean he's tall, athletic, perfectly tanned, but not handsome.
He's well dressed, a pair of black jeans, a cream pullover, and a black cache-col asymmetrically wrapped around his neck.
She watched him move closer, she can now appreciate his "not-so-handsome" facial features: The espresso-brown eyes, the seductive wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, the full mouth, the lazily-shaved square jaw. This man is not handsome, he is god damn gorgeous!
She continues silently:
Oh well, this kind of men is never single. Why else would he be here in an expensive jewelery store 3 days away from Val...
Before she could finish that thought, the man asked her in a deep, confident husky voice: Would you go out with me for dinner? Say tonight at 8?

To be continued...

Ready to SouthPark Yourself?

I'm a huge fan of southpark.. I stumbled across this site long time ago.. and I guess it would be fun to share it ;)

SouthPark Yourself!

This is me with an attitude loooool


Time to TAG!
I wanna see BJ's, Ot's, Alchemist's, Saro0na's, Ahmed's, and Ache's..

Get it moving people, I wanna see you southparked!

Objective in Life?

A fellow blogger -Ahmed- asked me the toughest question anyone could ask me at this time..

"What is your main objective in life?"
That is too broad a question, and before I can answer you, I must first answer myself!

I owe it to 4 corners of my life,
Myself
My family
My friends
My career

My main objective in life would be to keep it a fair square, not lean to one corner more than the others and lose the balance..
Currently, the balance is tipped over to my career, that's quite understandable now that I am at a crucial spot, where I must decide what I wanna do for a living.

Being a woman makes it much more difficult.. For instance, when a man decides he wants to do surgery, nobody questions him! but should a woman -godforbid- decides she wants to be a surgeon, everybody around her would start questioning her sanity!

I remember the first line of advice I got from someone in my family:
"You should go into pediatrics."
That's it, period.
I spend 7 years in med school, so that I come this day and listen to you, and do pediatrics.
I reponded that I don't like pediatrics, it's in fact my least favorite subject!
He then says:
"then you should do gynecology!"
That's it, you solved my problem, thank you very much.

You see, the image of a Saudi female doctor is set to be either a pediatrician, a gynecologist, or at the most an internist. Very few make it to surgery unfortunately.

When I decided I wanted to do surgery, the question I was asked the most was:
"So you don't wanna get married?"
but then I did, and the question changed to:
"Oh, so you don't wanna have children?"


I admit that doing surgery is a commitment, I am aware of that.. But then going into med school was the beginning of that commitment.. I don't struggle through 7 years of torture to come at this final point and just quit my ambition for a bunch of dementic people who think a woman should only serve women and children!
I'm not saying that I'm seeking to be equal to men, don't get me wrong! Women that want to be equal to men lack ambition!

I know a couple of colleagues that decided to do laboratory medicine, or an easy non-demanding specialty like anesthesia or dermatology. It's good that a person knows his limits and doesn't run after false dreams. If that is the only way for them to keep their "fair square balance", then I applaude them for their decisions. But it is nobody's right to tell anybody what they CAN'T DO, and what they SHOULD DO instead.

I am an artist, I love sculpture, I have an eye for symmetry and beauty.. I'm an inpatient detail oriented perfectionist. Now what self-respecting creature would throw their skills and talents out the window just because someone else "thinks" they're better off that way?

Self-Tagged (by DotsSon)

I'm bad at drawing, but I love tagging ;)

So I was browsing by, and bumped into this tag on DotsSon's blog, where you must submit a hand drawn picture.. He for example posted the one and only, Dota Lisa! =)

This is my humble attempt to draw the full version of the pic in my profile.. It's a failure, trust me people I'm way prettier than that! LOL

I shall call it.... Madonna of the Blogs!

I guess that's what I look like when I wake up in the morning after 15 hours of sleep!

So now I get to tag.. hmmm, I tag everyone on this blogosphere that doesn't know a clue about holding a pencil down to draw.. And if anyone accepted my tag, just drop a line or 2 in a comment below =)

Aya I

"Aya" is a story with an element of truth, and a couple of elements of fiction. This is my second attempt to write, so please, criticize to encourage, not to make fun :)

----------------

She was lying in bed, on her left side; facing the glow in the dark clock on the night table. This is her definition of being asleep, anticipating three o'clock in the morning, when her father is unquestionably asleep.

As soon as the clock hit three, she would get up and search for her Betty Boop fluffy slippers, climb down the stairs to the living room where the computer is, turn it on and go online.

Her Yahoo screenname was "cocoberries", she couldn't decide what she loved more, chocolate or strawberries. She would log on and wait, it could be a minute, and it could be a couple of hours. Her friend list is empty, except for that one nickname. The smiley next to it was dim, indicating that person being offline. She thought of making herself a cup of hot chocolate while she waits, she'd hear the 'knocking' when that person came online, the kitchen was just next door. While she was stirring in the coco powder, she heard the only sound that made her happy those days, the knock.

She carried the mug back to the living room and took a deep breath to start typing.

cocoberries: te echo de menos.
pisces203: Hey baby, I miss you too. How are you sweetheart?

Tears started obscuring her vision, the screen is now blurred and hazy. She couldn't hold it anymore, she had to cry and give way to her sorrow.

cocoberries: I miss you so much, it's been 3 years now since I last saw you.. And when dad found out I was calling you he's taken my cell phone, and grounded me.
pisces203: I know sweetheart, he's still angry with me. How's your little sister?
cocoberries: Alia's fine, she misses you too!
pisces203: How are you 2 doing in school?
cocoberries: She's doing ok, but I'm not.. this is my last year and I haven't studied a thing. How can I study when you're not around?
pisces203: On the contrary! You have to study! you have to graduate to come to university here and stay with me.

Pieces203 said that knowing it's impossible, but just to motivate her a little. Aya wiped away her tears and nodded to the screen, silently making a promise that she will study and graduate.

pieces203: you have to get some sleep, it's very late in Jeddah now. Go get some sleep and don't worry honey everything will be alright.
Pieces203: Te amo Aya!
cocoberries: I love you too mommy..

----------------------

Ahmed, Aya's father, met Maria back in 1980 in Barcelona. He was a businessman and it only made sense that he travelled quite alot. Maria was only 19 when he first met her. She was a saleswoman in Cartier, stunningly beautiful. She had long wavy jet black hair. Her eyes were crystal blue, thick lashed, and absolutely mesmerizing. She wasn't very tall, nor very thin. Her womanly curves blew his mind away. All he could think of when he saw her was having her.
He fell in love with her instantly, he lost his sense of reason and asked her out before he could say a word.
But that was him, he couldn't bear the thought of something beautiful not being his own. He wanted her to walk by his side so that people would envy him, not admire her!

Maria came from a poor family. Her father owned a farm; that's where he lived, and that's why he lived. Maria has always dreamt of the usual prince charming, that would sweep her off her feet, and take her away to a better place, better time..
Maria did not go to college, she graduated from high school and looked for a job. She looked for the job, where she could meet her prince. What better place to meet him than a jewelery store?
She was picky though; she was picky until she met Ahmed.

To be continued...

Announcement..

I decided I'm gonna be seeing women for a change..

Doesn't matter whether single, engaged, married, or even pregnant.. Hell, I'm gonna be seeing mostly pregnant women!

I used to hate XX species, it's a mutual thing, women never liked me! Their first impression of me was always negative, no exceptions! I bet even when my mom first saw me she was thinking: "I'm gonna be having alot of trouble with this one!" lol

So now, I'm giving women a last chance, and they better like me this time.. I'm gonna be exclusively seeing women for 2 months.. I can't say I'm not scared! I like men, they like me too.. I never had trouble with XYs, they're straight forward! -some exceptions ofcourse-

Women are so undulating & serpentile when it comes to relationships.. They act like they like you, when in fact they hate your guts! Perhaps they hate me because I don't do that? I can't smile in the face of someone I don't like, is that a crime?

As I said, this is their last chance, and they better like me, I got the drugs! *evil grin*

No people I'm not turning lesbian, I still haven't given up on my man yet, I'm just starting a gynecology rotation in the university hospital!


I always imagined me being the only doctor on a plane when a woman gets in labor, *I watch alot of Drama series, I admit* so by the end of this year, I'm gonna be able to hop on a plane confident that I can be in charge ;)

How much would it weigh?

I was in "Kanz Obhur" with my family a couple of days ago..

We were sitting by the sea, it was around sunset, and the weather was somewhat pleasant..

Just as the sun was setting, everyone around us took their mobiles out to take a shot of the beautiful view, even my mom who's probably never used her mobile to take a picture before..

Now I'm a fan of photography, so naturally I snapped out my mobile too - in spite of the crappy camera that's attached to it..

Catch is, there was a giant "libra" statue blocking the view, and everybody around the table was trying to avoid it to get the best shot, and eventually, all ended up with the same picture.

Question is, where's the beauty in that? I bet even the photographer himself couldn't tell his shot out from the pile that was taken that day..

This was my shot: (remember, it's a crappy phone camera, AND it's zoomed in!)

I have 2 points that are obvious to mention, but bare with me:

1. The sun is the same, it captivated everybody at the moment of sunset, a few minutes earlier we were all trying to hide in the shade! many people moved into the indoors section to avoid the same sun that everybody now is mesmerized by its beauty..

2. The giant "libra" is an obstacle, but it made my picture unique.. I was the only one to use it as an advantage..

It's phylosophical I know, but isn't life just the same?

My Professional Integrity

Dedication to all those questioning my prefessional integrity :P

Where was I when you guys kept going and going aboute me being so incompetent and lazy? Oh yeah, I was on call!!

First of all, I'm a human being, and second I'm an intern.. I'm in a process of learning, if that weren't the case a med student would graduate to become a consultant right away, why waste the 7 (+/- 2) years of training?

Medicine is not just memorizing huge textbooks, that's the easy part.. The real challenge is living up to the practice, and using the knowledge, channeling it into the right direction.. How many people graduted top of their classes then found out they were not cut for being clinicians, and succumbed to laboratory jobs? Too many to mention!

Interns never killed patients, interns are known to kill themselves, but not patients.. Interns are probably the ones that care the most about patients, they haven't got their hearts stripped of emotion yet, they are genuine in their care, but the catch is, they're still human..

I'm not here to justify my actions to anybody, but it really hurts me a great deal when I'm accused of being emotionless and lazy.. I'm very social, and I love people especially sick ones.. my doctors actually ask me to get less attached to my patients! I keep in touch with them even after they've been discharged, and then you come and lecture me about being incompetent? What do you know about being on call and deprived of sleep? Did I volunteer to be on call on the first day of Eid, and not be with my family just to go to sleep? I had no intentions to, but it's human nature! you're brain shuts down no matter when and where!

I was on call again yesterday.. Our shift usually finishes at 4:00.. I was called to the ER at 4:05.. Stayed there till 9:00 o'clock straight, I didn't even have lunch.. The resident on call in the ER did not cme, and didnt even bother to call, so the doctor had no intentions of releasing me, so I asked to take a break to have dinner.. The dr. called me back at around 10:00..

I went back to the ER from 10:00 till 2:00 am straight.. I've seen I don't know how many patients but they were alot..

I learned from what happened the eve of Eid, so had alot of sleep the night before my on call.. That's why we're interns, to learn what it takes to be a successful doctor, not to be called failures and incompetent losers by people who have no clue what our job is about..

As you may have noticed, it rained last night.. the senior resident in my team did not show up this morning, did I complain and say I'm post call and can't work without a senior? no I didn't, I have a huge sense of responsibility despite what you all think of me.. I carried the load on my own.. Our consultant showed up at around 1:45 pm (interns post call are supposed to leave at around 11 am in the next morning).. we took our round until 3:00 pm, when the doctor saw my stamp on the admission note of one of our new patients.. he looked at me interrogating, I told him I was on call yesterday.. He said and you were admitting patients? where's the resident? I told him she didn't come..

I saw a look of appreciation and gratitude that made me feel I just drank a double espresso.. I didn't feel tired anymore, I felt proud and very happy.. He told me I'm one of the best interns he has ever worked with.. that was enough to get me through the rest of the day, and I got home at around 4:30 pm..

My Eid On-Call

LoL the title sounds like an episode from Scrubs..

Aaaanyway..

I volunteered to be on call on the first day of Eid as you already know.. Turned out it wasn't a bad idea after all..We had a breakfast in the conference room (thrown by my beloved Nephro team)..

The only problem is, I went to the hosp without having any sleep, so go figure!
I was on call with Dr. K. Eid.. (sense the irony!).. She was kind enough to take my pager for some time (I'm not sure, it could've been a minute, and it could've been a couple of hours!).. As soon as she took it, I went into a coma..

Aaaanyway.. The wards were quiet, so after a while, she joined me for a slumber party..

Everything was quiet until I got a page:
me: hello?
him: is this dr. julz? (lol ok, he said my name)
me: yes, who's this?
him: I'm dr. Raju (a registrar)
me: *yawning sleepily* yes dr, what can i do for u?
him: there's a patient in room 130 bed 1, i want you to call ortho for a consultation..
me: *obviously sleeping* ok sure, but dr. I'm kinda swamped with work right now, if it's not urgent, can i do it when im done with what i have in hand?
him: sure, but please do it as soon as u have time..
me: sure no probs..

"me" went back to sleep.. lol

4 hours later, I get another page:
him: dr. Julz, I just called ortho to ask them for their evaluation, and they said u never called for a consult!!!
me: *still sleeping* ummm, huh?
him: did you call ortho?
me: ummm, ortho?
him: for room 130 bed 1?
me: ummm, 130 bed 1?
him: r u the doc that answered my page 4 hours ago?
me: *scared now* 4 HOURS AGO???!!!
him --> veeeeeeeerrryyyyyyy maaaaaaaaaad!!
me --> veeeeeeeerryyyyyyyy screwwwwwed!

Now don't worry the patient won't die because of my misbehaviour.. Dr. Raju could've suffered a heart attack because of me though loool

Now what was it? Oh yeah, "Happy" Eid..

You know how they say that Satan gets locked up during Ramadhan? Well that must be true!!

Anyone else noticed how crappy the last day of Ramadhan always has to be? It's like Satan has been on a diet, and is suddenly released with all the hunger and cravings!!

I won't have time to spill what happened or what should've happened, cause I have to run to the hospital right now..

Yup, Julz's on call on the first day of Eid, BY CHOICE!!
I figured the best way to run away from all the obligations of the first day is by being on call.. crazy? very possible..

I just wanted to wish who ever is kind enough to read my blog a happy Eid.. And please, wish me a happy on-call...

P.S: I haven't slept for the last 24 hours, and I won't sleep for the next 24 hours.. I won't be judged on my next post, I'm warning you!

Nostalgia..

Memories.. Nothing but memories..

An echo of a sob,
The trace of a tear..
Senses numb,
Drunk with fear..

Damp foreheads.. Burning candles..
Old wine.. Antique wood..
Devoid of life..
Anxious I stood..

Nothing but shadows..
Silhouettes..
Beads of sweat..

Pain.
Sorrow.
Breath so shallow..

Nothing but memories..

What's the deal with Sushi?!

When it comes to SUSHI, people are divided into 3 categories:
1. People that LOVE it
2. People that HATE it
3. People in category 2 pretending to be in category 1..

I belong to the 3rd category..

I'm not pretending to love it, I'm just in denial.. I put the maki in my mouth and try not to concentrate on the flavor or the moisture or the rawness! I would chew it really fast, swallow it in seconds and just follow up with whatever drink I ordered. lol

I sometimes try to slow down and absorb the flavor, but - BAD IDEA, I would start to get nauseous +/- throw up!

The thing is, it's a label nowadays: OMG!!! you don't eat sushi? how sad!

Not just sushi, all seafood.. it's like holding an LV bag, or wearing a pair of gucci!
Now I don't have a problem with other seafood entities, I love shrimps, I crave lobster, mussels and oysters.. smoked salmon makes me high! I'm just not friends with raw food, specially raw seafood!

My sushi friend is the California Roll, it's like a little black dress, I wear it to every occasion.. It's the only maki I can swallow without making a scene! It's my token to the I'm-cool-world lol.

North Country

I saw a movie yesterday called "North Country", starring Charlize Theron as Josey..

It's inspired by a true story that took place somewhere in the late 70s, when they started to hire women to work in iron mines. (first woman was hired in 73), by 1984, the male to female ratio was 30 to 1!

You can imagine the range of humiliation this woman had to go through, what surprises she found in her locker, what drawings she had to clear off the walls.. The name-calling in public, the finger pointing even from women!

Her history wasn't that happy either, she has 2 children, the first is a rape product, when she was 16.. the 2nd is a product of a marriage to an abusive husband.

At that time, there was no law in the US against sexual harrasment, so a woman abused at her work place should swallow it 'sec'.

She wanted to make a living, instead, she made history!

I won't spoil the ending, you have to see the movie! :)

Post Call.

I was on call yesterday in King Fahd Armed Forces Hospital.

Being on call means you should go to work (despite the fact that yesterday was Thursday: both a weekend and the first day of vacation). You don't only go to work, you go early (9:30 am), you sleep over -or try hard to- in a crappy room, then you go back the next day at aroun 11:30 am.
The on call scale in internal medicine consists of 2 interns, 2 residents, 1 senior registrar, and 1 consultant. Opposite to what logic may suggest, inerns work the hardest, and consultants work the least..
In KFAFH, there are 4 medical wards, madical ward 1, 2, 3, and the VIP ward. Yesterday I was in charge of med. ward 1 and the VIP.. IT wasn't bad actually, at least it was better than usual.. the on call team was mainly girls: both me and the other intern, and the 2 residents were girls, pretty ones i might add..
The exhausting thing about being on call is the anticipation of a call.. that tiny little gadget called pager is no tiny by any standards! It seems there's a mic, camera, infrared sensors that detect your every movement and send it to all nurses stations immediately! So whenever you sit down, or better yet lie down, you immediately get a page! It's like it's freakin magic or something!!! I would stay awake for 5 hours anticipating a call.. as soon as I give up to sleep and lie down for a sec the fireakin thing starts ringing!!
Now another call entity that should be described in detail is a nurse!
It's not an angel of mercy, with a beutiful face in a short white skirt and sexy boobs barely hidden beneath the tight white top, that's a playboy's nurse..
What we have is an evil nurse, another hybrid, that's rapidly multiplying and should be stopped..
This is a typical conversation:
My pager rings: 2229
So I should immediately pick up the phone and dial: 2 .. 2 .. 2 .. 9
nurse: hello, medical 1!
me: yes hello, I'm the medical on call, someone paged?
nurse: Oh oh (yes in philippino!), wait doctoraa (that's a female doctor lol)..
nurse: in philipino %$#^^$*^&%^$%^%&*^% (for almost 5 minutes)
then another nurse takes the phone: yes doctoraa.. I want to refer this patient, he doesn't want to eat.
me: that's precisely why I went to med school.. to convince people to eat!!!!
nurse: can I tell him the doctor said you must eat?
me: by all means!
nurse: thank you doctoraa.

15 minutes laters, the same nurse would page me again, to tell me the patient just ate!

Very fruitful being a doctor..

There's the other extreme though, when they page you to tell you that one of the patients is convulsing, lost consciousness, his blood pressure's falling, his breathing is irregular (all those sentences by the way are clues that the patient is dying!)..
I would just blink a couple of times before I would say: Ok, I'll call my senior.

You see, when you're on call, you follow the rule of the jungle.. Interns are the bottom of the food chain, we receive all kinds of threats, the ones that are above our knowledge (which is the case in 99% of the times), we refer to the one's above --> the residents.. they take it from there.. residents are heroes when it comes to interns, and are mess ups when it comes to registrars.. and so forth..

In conclusion: the ones that really RULE the hospital, are the evil nurses!

My First Job Interview.

Or was it?
I stayed up yesterday until 5 am, trying to fix my CV, add something here, remove something there..
Anyway, I was supposed to meet this program director with my current boss to recommend me one on one..
This morning, I hear the news: one of the program director's parents just passed away last night.. Probably around the time I was fixing my CV, and daydreaming about my interview..
The funny thing, I was so self absorbed that I was cursing my bad luck, when it suddenly hit me! Now this man just lost a parent, so is it my bad luck or his?
And then the little ugly voice that knows only the phrase "it's a sign"started to kick in. Is this the right job for me? Is that the right hospital for me? Is it the right specialty?
I finally decided to ignore that stupid voice and go to sleep.. As an intern, we are naturally sleepdeprived, as an intern with chronic insomnia; you do the math!

My First Post

Today, I decided to start a blog.

I was going through my 'old stuff' box, and I found paper-clips that goes back to 1993!
I had this terrible sorrow I don't know why.. I was reading my own handwriting and despite those fossils being almost unreadable I managed to recall the exact feelings, exact emotions I had when I wrote those scribbles..

I haven't written in my diary since a very long time; I'm full of emotions I could explode.. My eyes are almost speaking. The problem is, the more emotional I get, the less expressive I become, the more tension builds up.

It's great to have a place to let the steam out..