My Professional Integrity

Dedication to all those questioning my prefessional integrity :P

Where was I when you guys kept going and going aboute me being so incompetent and lazy? Oh yeah, I was on call!!

First of all, I'm a human being, and second I'm an intern.. I'm in a process of learning, if that weren't the case a med student would graduate to become a consultant right away, why waste the 7 (+/- 2) years of training?

Medicine is not just memorizing huge textbooks, that's the easy part.. The real challenge is living up to the practice, and using the knowledge, channeling it into the right direction.. How many people graduted top of their classes then found out they were not cut for being clinicians, and succumbed to laboratory jobs? Too many to mention!

Interns never killed patients, interns are known to kill themselves, but not patients.. Interns are probably the ones that care the most about patients, they haven't got their hearts stripped of emotion yet, they are genuine in their care, but the catch is, they're still human..

I'm not here to justify my actions to anybody, but it really hurts me a great deal when I'm accused of being emotionless and lazy.. I'm very social, and I love people especially sick ones.. my doctors actually ask me to get less attached to my patients! I keep in touch with them even after they've been discharged, and then you come and lecture me about being incompetent? What do you know about being on call and deprived of sleep? Did I volunteer to be on call on the first day of Eid, and not be with my family just to go to sleep? I had no intentions to, but it's human nature! you're brain shuts down no matter when and where!

I was on call again yesterday.. Our shift usually finishes at 4:00.. I was called to the ER at 4:05.. Stayed there till 9:00 o'clock straight, I didn't even have lunch.. The resident on call in the ER did not cme, and didnt even bother to call, so the doctor had no intentions of releasing me, so I asked to take a break to have dinner.. The dr. called me back at around 10:00..

I went back to the ER from 10:00 till 2:00 am straight.. I've seen I don't know how many patients but they were alot..

I learned from what happened the eve of Eid, so had alot of sleep the night before my on call.. That's why we're interns, to learn what it takes to be a successful doctor, not to be called failures and incompetent losers by people who have no clue what our job is about..

As you may have noticed, it rained last night.. the senior resident in my team did not show up this morning, did I complain and say I'm post call and can't work without a senior? no I didn't, I have a huge sense of responsibility despite what you all think of me.. I carried the load on my own.. Our consultant showed up at around 1:45 pm (interns post call are supposed to leave at around 11 am in the next morning).. we took our round until 3:00 pm, when the doctor saw my stamp on the admission note of one of our new patients.. he looked at me interrogating, I told him I was on call yesterday.. He said and you were admitting patients? where's the resident? I told him she didn't come..

I saw a look of appreciation and gratitude that made me feel I just drank a double espresso.. I didn't feel tired anymore, I felt proud and very happy.. He told me I'm one of the best interns he has ever worked with.. that was enough to get me through the rest of the day, and I got home at around 4:30 pm..